Doctors are a Girl’s Best Friend

In tonight’s comic adventure: If misery loves company, than Miss Waxie’s forlorn stomach must be quite the sad and lonely little organ. After all, for what other reason would it hold on to breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Sure, the doctor calls it gastroparesis, a condition of delayed stomach emptying, and prescribes medication and a special diet, but Miss Waxie knows better; her poor tummy just needs a friend. Anyone got a working stomach lying around?

True Knowledge Exists in Knowing You (And They) Know Nothing…

In Tonight’s Comic Adventure: It’s been a long summer, but finally, finally Miss Waxie is eating again with the help of an army of immunosuppressants and steroids. Armed with a some new “we don’t know what it is” cryopyrin associated periodic syndrome (CAPS) stomach problem – or some new autoimmune stomach problem – and idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura – Miss Waxie is collecting new medical terminology faster than an an over stressed first year med-student.

On the positive side, the cellcept is working, the pred is coming down, and the ITP is under control enough that she no longer looks like a drug dealer’s girlfriend…she can practically hear her immune system plotting against her for daring to say things might be better.  ….Bring it, immune system!

The Belly of the Beast is in my Belly

In Tonight’s Comic Adventure: Miss Waxie contemplates her summer of stomach problems. Is it Crohn’s Disease? Ulcerative Colitis? Will she live forever and ever on prednisone? It seems that only time will tell…cause at this point, her doctor’s sure won’t!

Keep Your Friends Close, And Your Enemies Closer…

In Tonight’s Comic Adventure: Miss Waxie learns to love her greatest adversary as being taken seriously by the Cleveland Clinic has provided her a golden ticket into better medical care. Sure they might think she’s in a coma, but what can she say, the Cleveland Clinic kinda grows on you. Not unlike the MRSA they so rampantly spread through Ohio…

(Previously filed under Tales from the Clinic: Out with the Old, In With the Eugenics)